11 September 2013

Sexual Ethics as the Parent, part one.

The first step in solving a problem is admitting you have one, right?

Well, we have a problem. 

We have a problem as Americans, and particularly American parents.  And our problem is with sex.
It looks like this:

But, this is just an image.  And it is a reflective image, as is all of pop culture.  It reflects what we want and who we are. But, sometimes, like my mirror reflection in the morning, it hurts our feelings.

Wait, apparently 10 lbs are not just numbers on the scale, they also involve that second chin making its presence known.  Wait, apparently, sexting and twerking and scantily-clad-selfies and all the other words that I haven't yet heard because secretly I'm old, well, they look ugly in the mirror.  And we don't notice and we don't notice, and then one morning, the bathroom light is just right, and we remember to put our glasses on, and whoa, who is that 20 year old in her panties with that tongue?

She is us, and she is ugly, and that man in his jailbird? referee? outfit needs to go home to his children instead of victimizing someone else's.  Now. 

And then, as parents, we look at our babies, and we realize what kind of world they live in.  And, being in the age of the internet, we write, as I'm doing now.  We post facebook statuses and we draft blog posts, and everyone's feelings are hurt about the reflection in the mirror, and everyone is terrified that it's accurate, and accurate even to their own households, and oh my heavens, not my babies!  My babies!

And it leads to a lot of people getting riled up, because, shockingly, we don't all parent the same way, and we don't all identify the same root of the problem, or what to do to chop off that root before it chokes out the trees of healthy living we've done such work to plant and nurture.  All we know is that that woman in the mirror looks bad and our feelings are hurt and aaaahhhhh.

Some people fuss at other people's kids -  


And some people basically say that young girls should be able to do whatever they want and anyone suggesting something otherwise should rejoin the days of Scarlet Letters. 

So, we have a problem:  Our children are growing up in a sexually corrupt and corrupting culture, and due to the technological revolution, putting them in a pristine bubble isn't even an option anymore (as though it was ever healthy....).

That is our problem.  Step one.  Doesn't that feel better?  

Step two, fleshing out the problem:  here. 

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